Pastor Dave

What is Abuse?

Last Updated (Monday, 13 October 2008 23:40) Monday, 13 October 2008 23:37

Greetings in Christ,
What is abuse? How does abuse affect marriage? How does abuse affect your relationship with God? What does the Bible have to say about abuse? In this message I want to speak specifically to people who are going through abuse or have gone through abuse. My hope is that you would know what Christ thinks of abuse, and with that knowledge you can find healing from the effects of abuse through Him.
God created humans in His image. He created them to know Him and to serve Him. Sodom and Gomorrah was judged not only because of its sexual sin but because it allowed social injustice to pervade its streets and corridors. Throughout the Bible we people being abused. The Israelites were oppressed by the Egyptians. Daniel was persecuted by the Babylonians throughout much of his life. The story of the Bible is that God will vindicate the righteous and judge the wicked. The Lord does not approve of sin because He is holy. The Lord does not approve of abuse because He created us in His image. Abuse is a byproduct of man’s sinful nature.
What is abuse? Abuse is defined as verbal, physical, sexual or mental. These definitions of abuse fail at a fundamental level because they merely serve as a band-aid for the actions of abuse but do not get down into the core of what abuse is. Abuse is anything that violates a person. This can include verbal, mental, physical, sexual abuse but the problem of abuse itself still runs deeper than the effects of abuse. If I were to use graphic language with a friend this would be verbal abuse. If I were to punch them in the nose then I would be physically abusing them. Abuse is any action or word that violates their space or causes them to be or feel violated. Abuse is hurtful and leaves scars not only on the outside but on the inside.
The lie that pervades the mind of the abuser is that the victim doesn’t really care about what they say, do or think. This leaves them thinking that they can get away with whatever they like. This lie violates the fact that every human being is created in the image of God (Genesis ch.2-3). Abuse of any form is not okay and we cannot categorize or classify abuse to suggest that any form of abuse is alright. Abuse happens all around us everyday.
The problem with abuse is how view it through the lens of major incidents instead of as a whole sequence of events. I have learned through experience that if you can identify the root problem; you can then help the person by God’s grace to get deliverance out of the issue. By applying this general principle to the problem of abuse we can get to the root cause of abuse.
Abuse in any form is not okay. Guys it’s not okay to use graphic language with your wife or girlfriend whenever you feel like it. It’s not okay to neglect your wife because you want to spend time playing your video game, go fishing, golfing, camping, hunting or any other hobby you like just to neglect your wife. It takes a man to truly love his wife as Christ loves the Church. Your wife will truly appreciate you taking time to value her. Men you can value your wife by doing the little things such as listening to her when she talks, helping out around the house, and finding out where her emotional, mental and spiritual needs are. As a married man, I know how a little communication can go a long way to making your wife feel special and significant.
Men we must abandon our pride and learn to be humble. The only way your lady is going to respect you is by being the man of her dreams. Women know when men are playing games with them. Our spouses or girlfriends know if we are playing games because if they knew us well enough to be with us; then they know how to see right through our facades. Treat your wife or girlfriend like a princess and they will rock your world. Men, treat your ladies like princess because they need to be treated that way.
The root cause of abuse is sin. Our natural default is to turn away from God, His Word and His Son. Left to our own devices we will abuse our significant other, family and friends. We may not intend to be so inclined towards abuse, because most people tend to view themselves as good people. The problem is that we are not good and are motivated by our self-interest, self-ambition, and self-righteousness. Our sin nature holds us in a tentacle like grip and distorts not only our perception of reality but also our ability to know Truth. The cancer of sin can only cease by coming to Jesus Christ for healing and deliverance. Jesus Christ can heal the abuser from abusing others. Only Jesus Christ can help rebuild the marriage that has been torn apart by abuse.
Abuse hurts every relationship you care about. Abuse hurts you and your relationship with God. Abuse affects the victim’s perception of the abuser. Experiencing abuse can be harmful to any relationship, and depending on the severity of the abuse situation it can also require a lot of counseling. The only way for both parties to experience healing is through Jesus Christ. Christ can heal the brokenness that comes from abuse, and only He can forgive you of sin. Will you come to Him for healing? Will you come to Him for deliverance? Will you come to Him for forgiveness? Only Christ can take a person enslaved to sin and set them free. His offer is freedom, forgiveness, and healing from abuse so that you can know Him and serve Him.
In Christ Alone,
Pastor Dave